Disobedience to one’s father is disobedience to Allah Subhaanahu Wata’ala, and displeasure of the father, is displeasure of Allah Ta’ala. If a person keeps his parents pleased, then that is his Jannat (Heaven), and if he displeases them, then that is his hell. Until a person does not gain the pleasure of his parents, neither are his Fardh or his Nafl actions accepted in actuality. Such persons will not only be faced with punishment in the hereafter, but they shall face great hardships even in this world. Allah forbid, but for such persons, there is a fear of not having the opportunity of reciting the Kalima on their deathbed. Our Beloved Rasool (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has mentioned the following:
“Obedience to Allah is through obedience to ones father, and Allah’s displeasure is through the displeasure of ones father.”
“Pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the father, and displeasure of Allah is in the displeasure of the father.”
“Parents are either your heaven or your hell.”
“The father is the middle door, from all the doors of Jannat. Now if you desire, then your may lose this door or keep it protected.”
“Three persons will not enter Jannat: one who disobeys his parents, a fornicator and a woman who dresses like a man.”
“The punishment for all sins, Allah will give in the hereafter, except for that of one who disrespects his parents. He starts receiving his punishment whilst on earth.”
“A forsaking (giving up) of the prayers for parents results in the cut off of a man’s earnings.”
“Offer Nafl Ibaadat on behalf of your parents. Whenever you do so, they get the sawaab of it and in turn nothing in your own Sawaab is decreased.”
“Anybody going for Hajj on behalf of his father or mother gets the Hajj sanctioned to his credit too. In fact he earns the reward from Allah Ta’ala ten times more than a single Hajj.”
It is in one narration, that there was a young man who on his deathbed could not recite the Kalima. This message came to the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) who went to him and reminded him of the Kalima, and he replied by saying that he could not recite it (even though he tried). It was then confirmed that his mother was displeased with him. After gaining her pleasure (forgiveness), then only was he able to recite the Kalima.
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh) cites that in the holy service of the Beloved Rasool (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) someone asked, “Ya Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) who is the most rightful with whom I should behave kindly?” He (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied, “Your mother.” He again asked and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) replied “Your mother.” He again asked and received the same reply. When he asked the fourth time the Beloved Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) ordered, “Your father.”
A’la Hazrat Imam Ahmad Raza Khan (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh) says that the reason for this excess stress is to offer superiority to the mother over the father in the matters concerning their service, nursing or giving something .e.g. if you have hundred rupees you should give twenty five rupees to the father and the rest of the seventy five rupees to the mother. Or if both father and mother ask for a glass of water simultaneously, then you should serve the mother first and then the father should be given the water afterwards. And if they have returned from journey, then priority in pressing their feet should be given to the mother.
There is a consensus amongst the Ulema-e-Kiram (Religious heads) that a mother enjoys superiority in the matters of nursing and attendance while the father bears greater rights as far as the matter of respect is concerned.
Hazrat Abdullah Bin Umar (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh) narrates that once a man solicited before the holy court of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), “Ya Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) I have committed a great sin. Can my expiation be granted?” The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) asked him if his mother was alive. He replied, “Yes.” He was then advised by the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to behave kindly with her. [Tirmidhi] The moral is that the noble behaviour with parents serves as the Kaffaara (compensation) of one’s sins.
A’la Hazrat Imam Ahle Sunnat Imam Ahmad Raza Khan (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh) was asked, “What are the rights of parents that are lasting upon the children even after death?” A’la Hazrat (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh), amongst other things, mentioned the following points:
- Always read Istighfaar and pray for them. Never be ignorant, idle or indifferent towards these things.
- Send them Sawaab by giving sadqa, khairaat (charity) and doing righteous deeds as per your ability and never minimize them. Recite Salaah for them along with your Salaah and do fasting for them with your own.
- If they could not go to Hajj, then you should perform Hajj (Hajje-Badal i.e. Hajj being done for others who could not do it due to physical weakness or death), you should settle out their Zakaat if not paid, and distribute Kaffaara for any Namaaz or fasts they might have outstanding.
- You should visit their graves every Friday and recite the Holy Qur’an in such a loud voice so that they may hear it and confer the Sawaab of it to their souls.
- Never afflict pain and sadness on them in their graves by doing sinful action. This is the greatest and most public right of them, they bear forever. The parents are informed about all the good and bad actions of their children in their graves. Virtuous deeds performed by their children delight them and their faces start shinning while bad deeds offend them deeply and their hearts suffer restlessness and pains. So to distress them even after their deaths and to sadden them in their graves is not a right of parents.
O Muslims! After reading the above Hadith-e-Mubaraka and advice given by A’la Hazrat (Radiallahu Ta’ala Anh), you decide whether you are amongst those who are obedient to their parents or those who are disobedient. If you are obedient, then definitely your soul must have received great pleasure after reading the Ahadith of Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). If you feel that you have been disobedient, become conscious and ask your parents for forgiveness, for death can come at any moment. Repent in the Court of Almighty Allah, through the Wasila of Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and please your parents, so that you may protect your worldly life and your life in the hereafter from destruction. May Almighty Allah bless us all with the guidance to always please our parents, Ameen.